Saturday, July 16, 2016

Fear Not {Celebrate This Week 7-16-16}

I feel a shift coming.

It's a change that I've known would be coming some day. As it turns out, that some day is now.

This fall, I will be sending my oldest off to college. His sister, my only other child, will begin her senior year of high school. Major changes are coming.

I used to fear this.

Fear of not being needed, not being busy, not having a house full of kids. Fear of losing my identity as a mother and not knowing what comes next. Fear of being bored or feeling useless or unneeded.

But it turns out, those fears may have been for nothing.

I've gotten a taste of this parenting change this summer. Both of my kids work two jobs so they are pretty much gone all the time. My husband is a retail pharmacist, working several nights a week. Often that leaves me. Just me.

And I have to say....It is okay.

I find lots of things to keep me busy, possibly even busier than I was when the kids were younger. But it's a different kind of busy. It's a busy that is focused on me. It's a busy that leaves me feeling fulfilled in a way I didn't expect.

I read, I write, I work in the garden, I sit in silence with the dogs and watch the sun set, I make myself dinner (or not), I meet friends for coffee. I run on my own schedule, not someone else's.

I've spent a lot of time this summer thinking about this new way of life. It's not as bad as I thought it would be.

Sure, I will miss my kids desperately when they go off to college. But I also recognize that this will allow our relationship to grow in new ways.

It is all going to be okay.

For this, I celebrate.


10 comments:

  1. You are right where I was a year ago. Now my youngest (who was the senior last year) is heading to college. And both of my girls are working two jobs this summer. You are so right, it isn't as bad as what I feared. I haven't actually experienced them both being completely gone yet, but like you, I've had a taste. Yay for you for finding the good in this shift and celebrating it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's a good thing to celebrate transitions as they come along and lay the fears to rest. Being content when alone is something to celebrate especially. As you say, it doesn't mean we don't miss them when they aren't here, but it keeps us ready to welcome them when they are, and to be happy either way.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm long past this time you are in, Jennifer, but it does turn out okay, just different, as you describe, and there is joy in a new kind of relationship with your children. How great that you're finding that this new kind of life holds good things.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know this. Am living this. And you are doing great! It is something to celebrate when your kids are on their way to becoming independent. Such a shift, but one you have worked very hard to get to. Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Such a joy to read of your settling in to these new norms and enjoying it! Change can be good and you're embracing it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love your new header! Maybe you've had it for awhile, and I just missed it. I have been rather immersed in my new role as grandmother lately.

      Delete
  6. Looking from the other side of the line you are about to cross, I can say that life gets richer in this next phase. It sounds as though you are settling into aspects of it, already.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sounds like you are doing well and that makes me happy, friend!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Positivity always wins out, Jennifer. I am glad that you are comfortable in your own new skin.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh, yes! I know that feeling. Yes, it is all going to be okay!

    ReplyDelete

Please leave me a note to let me know you stopped by...