The job of being a parent of a boy and a parent of a girl were very similar. They both expressed themselves in similar ways. They both needed me in similar ways. What was good for one, was usually good for the other. My job as a parent was easy in that way.
They are teenagers now. My son is a junior in high school and my daughter is a sophomore. What I am finding is that the "one size fits all" parenting of the past no longer works. We have definitely come to a fork in the road in that respect and I am finding that I must now travel two different roads as a parent.
Nothing makes this more apparent than what they share with me about their boyfriend and girlfriend.
My daughter tells me most things. My son, nothing.
My daughter asks my advice. My son does not.
My daughter's boyfriend spends a lot of time at our house. My son's girlfriend, none.
My daughter invites me in with her stories. My son doesn't share.
In such a short period of time, my job as a parent has changed. I must now learn to parent them in completely different ways because they each are asking different things from me.
I'm not sure I like it....
I'm the mom of two sons, 19 and 21. It's been really hard to parent them these last few years, because they don't talk much. And usually when they do talk it's because stuff has reached crisis proportions and they explode. I adopted my boys when they were seven and nine, so I didn't have them as babies or toddlers, but I miss those elementary school years.
ReplyDeleteThis, I think, is so common. You son is just asking you to listen differently. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteIt's great that your daughter talks to you. I think it is so important for a mother and daughter to be able to share openly as she navigates her way through the teen years. I think boys tend to be less communicative, especially with their mothers. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteIt's great that your daughter talks to you. I think it is so important for a mother and daughter to be able to share openly as she navigates her way through the teen years. I think boys tend to be less communicative, especially with their mothers. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteBoys rarely offer information. You had to ask the right question to learn any information from my son. Perhaps you will learn pertinent information related to your son through your daughter.
ReplyDeleteThis is the same for me as well. Males and females...different wiring. Makes life interesting.
ReplyDeleteI'm in agreement with Elsie - my son always shares first with his sisters, and I often learn through them. Sigh, not perfect, but better than nothing.
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ReplyDeleteI love reading posts by parents with teenagers. My children are 5 and 1 (a bigger age difference here), and I often wonder what those teenage years are going to bring! One thing I do know, is that each kid is so different. I'm not so sure it's strictly gender-related, but every kid is definitely so different. While your babies were similar as young kiddos, mine are totally different in every way, right from the beginning!
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